Instrumental He hideth my soul

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I'm Not a Perfect Mother, but I'm a Work in Progress

 
 Life is a Mercy covers every day..

(I dedicate this thoughts to my beloved daughter who celebrate a birthday today)

# I may not be perfect, but when I look at my children, I know
that I got something in my life perfectly right ..

Many women wants to be a perfect mother in the sight of their 
children, and it is not wrong because it becomes ideals every
woman in the world.  I've learned in my life, a lot of things 
have been done by the mothers for the good and for the future 
of the children. They do everything for the sake of the good for 
them.

But, do we have done right when we tried to give what is best
for them ?

As a woman, we have emotion, we have an options, a temper,
a very loud voice, we make a lot of mistakes, and sometimes one hell 
of a right hook... 
We do what we can do when we've got the time. It perhaps we're not 
a speed reader, but we're always trying to be a speed understander.  

I sometimes say things that get me in trouble, but I say what I think
and I believe what I say. I'm willing to say things that are not popular 
to others but ordinary people know are right. It's not easy to do, 
because environmental influences contribute to the acceptance  of
our children. If they see someone else does not do it, and we ask
our children to do it, they will look at us being an odd mother.

It takes hard work and a maximum efforts to make them understand
what we say to them. Could have been repeatedly we experienced
a failure, their un-awareness over our effort  for the good of 
themselves, but as a mother we'll still want to do it even it is refused
for many times, with much love we continue to do it.

" I am not a has-been, but I am a will be !"

I learned to deal with the fact that I am not a perfect person..., but 
I am a person that deserves respect and honesty from my children.
Some won't appreciate what we say or do, but as long as we speak 
honestly from the heart, we will be fine. This is actually not a perfect
life, but life loves the person (mothers) who dares to live it by being
real.  

My children, you're such an inspiration for the ways that I'll never 
ever choose to be. So many ways for me to show you how much I 
love you and care so much, how the Savior has abandoned you. 
I have come to learn that I am not a perfect mother, nor will ever
be, because perfect is too hard. But I am perfectly fine with being
perfectly imperfect, at least I'm not fake and its guaranteed that I'm 
worth it.

Maybe I can't give you a fancy house, a luxury car, or give you a gift
of sophisticated and expensive gadgets on your birthday, as others or all 
your friends have and get it from their parents. But I have a remarkable
love for you, which I make using both of my hands and feet to pray for
you, every moment and every time, so that you remain in a good 
conditions always. God will grant you with a wisdom from Heaven,
cleverness, humility and loving to your neighbor, so you will become 
a useful child for the Lord and a fellow human beings.  

I also have another valuable things for you, which cannot be valued with 
money or other material (wealth), but it's all more than that's all....
I have a pure heart and hands are always open for you, ready to hug you 
whenever you need it. I have time for you, anytime you need to talk to
me.  I've got my finger ready to wipe every tears in your eyes whenever
it's fell, and replace it with a smile. I will always be there for you my
loving dear children, not only being a mother, but become a friend, a 
teacher, a counselor, even was a counterpart to whet a knowledge and 
science of your capacity to think and argue positively and sportive.
You're my JEWELS ..

I will do things best I can do for you, no matter how it does, I will do the
best for your future. Although this time you feel different from other friends,
as we don't provide you with such of a dinamic and slang gadget at your 
current age, the purpose is to make you not to be disturbed by things that can 
affect your concentration of learning,  where at your age now you should focus 
to learn and study. 
I am also concerned about how global freedom offered by many multi-media
can affect your personal, social and spiritual life. And I don't want you to get
carried away flowing too far until I can no longer to reach you..

I might not perfect in your eyes, but deep down in my heart, 
in my imperfections as a mother, I want to make you become a 
perfect human being, which I hope it would be good and useful for 
yourself in the future. 
Make a power and excellence for you in the face of conditions and 
circumstances how difficult it might be later.  But because I really 
loved you, I will devote my entire life to do my best that I can do for 
you, and you shall be a man to defenseless and be a blessing to your 
family, and fellow human beings.
This is what I can do for you as a mother who is not perfect ...

Talk to Jesus Christ as if He knows the reason why He did it all for you
through me...:)

Happy 12th Birthday my dearest daughter - Kanya Geraldine Putri,   
you grow sweeter with each passing year, we knew that God truly loved
us a lot when He gifted us with you. You are the most beautiful gift 
anyone has ever been gifted with. We love you so much! 
On your birthday today, we wish that God blesses you abundantly and fills 
your heart with more love, joy and happiness. 
You are one of God's brightest creations.  
No matter how many birthday come and go, you'll always be my little girl !

   
..There's no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good 
one, I wanted to be one of them ..

 

Never Lose Hope

Life is full of HOPE








# Maher Zain's song :

Every time you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
And That you're so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can`t see which way to go
Don`t despair and never lose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side...

So many problems in our life that makes us sometimes lose our way.

There are no handles to step, there is no ray of light the way,

There is no friend to walk together, no words of inspirit us,

All seemed deadlocked and without end..

Never give up, always have faith as it allows us to cope. Trying time 

will pass as they always do. Just have patience. Our dreams will come

true. So, put on a smile, we will live through our pain. Know it will pass

and strength we will gain.

There's  always a reason behind everything that will happen or has

happened. The only thing we could do is to stay strong. To never lose

hope and have a little faith. I've learned in my life there were several

things that was very important to keep me going through the hard time :

1. Hope is a goal setter

2. Hope makes me feel good

3. Hope is a template for faith 

4. Hope builds optimism for the future

 Hope gives us the desire to face another day, to strive to overcome  its

challenges and work for new ones. I will never lose faith in my abilities,

never lose faith in myself, even when this world throws its worst and turns

its back, there is still always hope. Always try the instincts I have inside, 

cause they will guide me through my journey.

Always have hope, always look to the future, always believe that the best

is out there for us to find..

When everything falls into pieces, when everybody turns their back on us,

when there appears to be no light in the tunnel, never give up, never lose

hope, sometimes we just need to take a deep breath to get through the 

day, and we'll know better days will come. Life is not about being fair....

it's about surpassing the unfair reality.

Never lose hope in the Mercy of the Almighty, as He knows when it is best

for us to get what we want, if it is good for us. And a desire becomes a 

hope when we discover a reason for its expectation, and there is no better

reason to expect something than a promise given in the Word of God.

This world is full of injustice. Sometimes other's people lives seem better.

The world they have look more colorful and beautiful. Without we realize,

we're complaining over what we have. Without do anything then we 

become down. Felt did not have anything. Feel doesn't mean anything.

Don't have anyone. Everything look bad.

We need an Optimism ! Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.

Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. We should not let our

fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes. Because most of important 

things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on

trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

Do not ever in doubt to something good in the future. Never give up.

Do not ever stop trying. Always have hope. Obstacles are only those 

frightful things we see when we take our eyes off our goal. In our heart,

keep one still secret spot where dreams may go and be sheltered, so

they may thrive and grow. In all things it is better to hope than to

despair. Because hope is the companion of power and mother of success,

for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles. Hope is 

like a road in the country, there was never a road, but when many people

walk on it, the road comes into existence.

Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit. We can achieve  a

permanently happy spirit. The very least we can do in our life is to

figure out what we hope for. And the most we can do is live inside

that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under

its roof.  Never talk defeat. Use words like hope, belief, faith, and

victory. As we promise according to our hopes and perform according

to our fears, we must have hope or starve to death.

If we lose hope, somehow we lose the vitality that keeps life moving,

we lose that courage to be, that quality that helps us go on in spite of 

it all. And so today, I still have a dream...

The natural flights of the human mind are not from pleasure to pleasure,

but from hope to hope. Hope is passion for what is possible. The day

the Lord created hope was probably the same day He created spring...

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not 

reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them,

try to follow them ...

Don't lose hope. When it gets darkest, the stars comes out ! 
Never STOP, believing in our dreams, because miracles do happen,
we just need to believe in Ourselves.. 
There's no beginning or end to our dreams or plans. Life is a journey
from moment to moment. Live each moment to its fullest.
Once we choose hope, anything's possible.
So, never lose hope, because we never know what tomorrow will
bring..
Life is a beautiful struggle !

continuing MZ's song :

....Every time you commit one more mistake
You feel you can`t repent
And that it's way too late
You`re so confused, wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame

Don`t despair and never lose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side...

Turn to Allah
He`s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don`t let me go astray
You`re the only one that showed me the way
Showed me the way [x3]  

# God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the 
difference.. 

  

Tears are Words that Heart Can't Express

 Life is full of tears of joy..

"Before I accepted  
The life of aspiration,
My tears were the tears
Of real sorrow. 






Now that I have accepted, the life of aspiration,                                    
My tears are not tears of sorrow but tears of real joy".

A popular man ever say : I love walking in the rain, cause 
then no one knows I’m crying..

Sometimes we don’t want others to see 
our tears, then we tried to cover it up and 
changed our face with a smile.. 
Our hearts say different just to cover the 
actual matter.
...We play with our feelings.. 

Huh, whether cry is a sin  ..Why should we 
cover our tears ?? 

However, crying is necessary for occasionally..

Our eyes need to be washed by tears once in a while,

so that we can see life with a clearer view again..

In other way, it could be the safety valve of the heart

when too much pressure is laid on it.

Sometimes we afraid to show our emotions,

So we cried inside of our heart, means that we can hear ourselves cry but nobody else can't.. nothing wrong with the tears..

Don’t ever be afraid to show our emotions, free ourselves and express ..

For some people tears is something valuable that should not be discarded carelessly..

spill only for a certain moments and shown only to a special person.. Why?

Because they thought tears were something  shameful, something that makes them look weak..so they have to keep it properly.

But, away from all these things, the tears indeed showing 
that we have the feeling, feelings that everybody should 
have ..

So.. don't let people around you to get heartache, don't 
make them cry, eyes is a window of the heart..look at 
them and look at their eyes..

When  you look their eyes wet ...that means they are hurt.

Eyes has never lie, it reflects the feeling of the heart...

Sometimes, when who we loved hurts our heart, tears will fall more ...

 
It Indicates that they’re really love her/him and feel so hurty..
We can't speak, words can't explain,  the dictionary cannot be translated, 

It's so difficult to express what they're  feeling ...

"I've learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures will never 
replace having been there, memories good and bad will brings tears, 
and words can never replace feelings". 

 
If someone is silent, it does not meant that everything was okay..
Tears are the silent language of grief, and it dries quickly whenever wiped by those we love...

“The tears fall, they're so easy to wipe off onto my sleeve, but how do I erase the stain from my 
heart?”   

Tears don’t start or end anywhere near our  eyes.

Tears begin when our mouth closes because we're left speechless from the shock, then they move down and overtake our heart in a fist-tight clench, and the lucky few know that they end when the heart has been comforted in such a way that like the tears did earlier, we're left speechless again..

I often want to cry, that is the only advantage woman have over man..

and what I always want is...crying in his arms, and feel the warmth of his arms..

Song : 

"So hold her closer when she cries, hold her closer when she feels. She needs a hand

to hold, someone who will never let her go again. And hold him closer when he tries

to hold the tears back from his eyes".

Do you cry?  Do you have a safe place to run to when you need to sob your heart out?

Tears have a different meaning in a different place; all you need 
to do is to understand the Hidden Messages inside ...
..Tears are often the telescope by which men see far into heaven..

 

If you have tears, prepare to shed them now..and SMILE !